Sunday, 20 November 2011

Talking about it

My foot has been bad for a while, having a painful plantar fibroma is no walk in the park. However generally speaking when I have been complaining about this I have just been saying my foot hurts, or it really hurts or something along those lines. I find it hard to express myself when it comes to a lot of things and I find it really hard to talk about plantar fibromatosis, I don't want to be one of those people who complain all time, this is probably to the extent that a lot of the people I see at work everyday don't even realise that I still have this problem with my foot.

Recently however my finacee has been getting me to talk to her about it and how I feel about it, as pain is just pain I can cope with it, well sort of but there are many more things to it than that. Put yourself in my shoes, or my feet if you like, you have a lump in the arch of your foot that is like walking on a marble, it stops you from being able to bend your toes properly and you are in more or less constant pain (to varying degrees). This not only means that you have to walk in running shoes all the time but that walking is painful, exercise is painful, you are already overweight and although you are trying to diet motivation is hurt when you can't exercise. You love playing Badminton and not just friendly badminton but properly competitive badminton with a club but that is way way out of the question so you have to stop that and haven't played for 6 month...

Giving up all of those things at the age of 24 is not nice, I want to be out there playing lots of sport, walking along the beach with my wife to be and not having to worry about my foot, my stupid bloody foot that gets in the way of so much, so what happens? You get depressed is what, I do not have depression, I am not a depressed person however the plantar fibroma is causing me to be sad, causing me to cry and not just because of the above but because of my future prospects, I have spent the last 6 years in training for a job that requires you to be on your feet a lot of the time, this is not something I can see myself continuing with if things stay as they are.

Still I  have been talking about this recently not just to my finacee who is a wonderful wonderful rock and helps me so much, she cries to hear of how much pain and trouble this is causing me, I am also talking to my friends, well one friend but then I don't have many friends that I would call close. He was also reduced to tears when he realised just how much I am having problems with it, though that was him and my fiancee talking as I am not big on talking as I said and luckily the two of them get on really well.

I am overall very happy and would really like more people to talk to who have it so please if you have it and find this then please go to the forum and tell us your story or that of people you know who have this, also feel free to go on there if you have one of the related diseases like dupuytren's contracture.